A Prayer for My Future Husband

To celebrate Valentine's Day this year, I wanted to write out a prayer for my future husband wherever he may be! 

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Thank You for always hearing me when I pray to You. You have been so faithful and gracious to me all the days of my life. I am in awe of Your love for me. Your love has set me free and given my life purpose. I live so that others may know and experience Your love for them in Your Son, Jesus. Your will and Kingdom, Your face, and Your glory, honor, and praise are all I seek in life. 

My relationship with You will always be the most important relationship I ever have. What I have with You is greater than anything else. You are my life, my freedom, my joy, my everything. I am absolutely nothing without You; Yours is all of the glory for everything good and beautiful in my life. 

When the time is perfect, I believe that You will write the most wonderful love story for me with the man You have chosen. I don't expect him to complete me or to take Your place; He will never mean more to me than You. You are and will always be my first love and I pray that Your love for me and Your love for him will be the foundation of our relationship. May our love reflect Your love, a divine and holy love that inspires others to know You and live their lives for You. Guard each of our hearts and guide each of us by Your Holy Spirit so that we become the people You created us to be and fulfill the purposes You have for us, individually and together. 

Please let my future husband know that I am waiting and praying for him, that You are working everything out. Let us both trust You and look to You always. Keep our eyes fixed and our hearts steadied on Jesus. Lead us each step toward one another by Your Holy Spirit and continue to lead us every step after by Your Holy Spirit. Continue the good work You have started in both of us always. Allow us to participate - as singles and then as a couple - in great ways in seeing Your kingdom come and Your will be done here on earth as it is in Heaven. 

Fill our hearts with Your love and use every minute of our singlehood to prepare us for the adventure of marriage and family and ministry together one day. Strengthen, encourage, lead, embolden, inspire, perfect, bless, and set us apart for Your glory. Give us a vision for our lives right now, for when we get married, when we have children, and for every season You have planned for our lives together. 

May our love and marriage be everything You want it to be. Let us not miss anything You have for us! May we both surrender the pen and allow You, the Author of life and God of love, to write a God-honoring and Christ-centered love story for us. 

I look forward to the love story You will bring into my life, but my dreams for the future don't overshadow my joy in the present today in this moment. You are more than enough for my heart and on this Valentine's Day, I celebrate Your great love for me and what You are doing in my life right now. I am in absolute awe of who You are. Keep my heart always seeking Your heart - to love You with all that I am and to love others as Jesus has loved me. 

I ask all of this in humble surrender and eternal gratitude, by faith and for Your glory. Thank You in advance for the love story You will write! I am expectant and excited to see Your glory in this area of my life. Thank You, Heavenly Father, for Your marvelous light and the beauty and adventure of life following Your Son by the power of Your Holy Spirit. 

In the mighty, holy, sovereign name of Jesus Christ. Amen. 

Love,

Your daughter forever

Unbroken: Where the Movie Left Off

This afternoon, I finished the book that inspired the film, Unbroken. I am amazed by how incredibly close the movie stays to Laura Hillenbrand's biography about Olympic athlete, WWII bombardier, plane crash survivor, and POW Louis Zamperini. 

Yet there's a story in the book that the movie just briefly covers. That of Zamperini's life after. After the plane crash. After 47 days lost at sea. After being imprisoned in a Japanese Prisoner of War camp. After enduring years of abuse and starvation. After.

Zamperini looked the same on the outside. But all that he had lived through had left him a fraction of the man he had been. He was alive. He had survived. More than once by some miracle. 

But he was a broken man. 

And it didn't take long for him to realize this. 

When he returned home, his family - who had been told that he was assumed dead - were elated. They stared at their son, at their brother with almost disbelieving eyes. All along, they had hoped that their highest hopes were not false. That somewhere in this world their Louis was living. His heart still beating, still racing to come home to them. God answered their prayers. 

A few months being back, back in a place where he never quite knew he would return to, but never lost hope to see again, Louis met a girl named Cynthia Applewhite. He would always say that from the minute he first saw her, he knew that he had to marry her. And he did. About three months later. 

Yet though thousands and thousands of miles away from his prison, his past, Zamperini was unable to let it go. Night after night, flashbacks terrorized him. He wrestled with the darkness, but it always won. Never was he able to go to sleep without being haunted by his life as a prisoner. 

To cope, he regularly drank himself to sleep to avoid another confrontation with his nightly appointment with the demons. But his drinking spilled over into this daily life, turning him into a monster. 

Every night, he wrestled with his unforgiveness towards "the Bird" - the sadistic guard that robbed him of his identity and his dignity, his belief in humanity, his levity, his passion for living. He envisioned himself strangling the Bird's neck, choking him until he gasped his final breath. Zamperini secretly began plotting to return to Japan one day - to murder this man who had robbed him of everything he had hoped to become. Of his dreams to be an Olympic medalist, a good husband, a functioning human being. 

His hate and rage consumed him. He wouldn't stop until he could have his vengeance. 

Meanwhile, "the Bird," his real name Mutsuhiro Watanabe, evaded authority to avoid being tried as a war criminal. He lived with strangers, doing odd jobs in exchange for board, concealing his identity from everyone. Hunted by the police, he could have no contact with his family, who were being watched and monitored at all hours. Somehow, he managed to visit them to let them know he was still alive. 

While there, detectives arrived at the family's doors. They were there to search for Watanabe, who hid in a closet as they looked for him. They didn't check it and he wasn't found. He promised his family that he would return again in exactly two years. Rumors soon began to circulate that he had committed suicide. He went off the radar. For a while. 

Stateside, Louis continued to spiral downward. He was disoriented and drunk most of the time, abusive and wrathful, bitter toward God. As Hillenbrand writes,  

“The paradox of vengefulness is that it makes men dependent upon those who have harmed them, believing that their release from pain will come only when they make their tormentors suffer. In seeking the Bird’s death to free himself, Louis had chained himself, once again, to his tyrant. During the war, the Bird had been unwilling to let go of Louie; after the war, Louie was unable to let go of the Bird.”

— p. 373

Louie and Cynthia had a little girl, but even the baby was not enough to quell the darkness in his heart, from the revenge and the alcoholism. Cynthia separated from him, deciding that divorce was the only answer to escape this nightmare she had unknowingly walked into when she said "I do." 

As they were apart, Cynthia heard of Billy Graham's tent crusades in Los Angeles. She begged Louis to go with her. They had tried everything else. He refused. But when she came back one night and told him that she no longer wanted to go through with the divorce, he started to reconsider his hesitancy to hear what this preacher from North Carolina had to say. He went. 

And he heard Billy Graham passionately encourage the audience to let God rescue them. Louis heard these words: "Here tonight, there's a drowning man, a drowning woman, a drowning boy, a drowning girl that is out lost in the sea of life." Those words resonated with him. 

But Louie's heart wasn't ready to let it all go. He grabbed Cynthia's hand and rushed out of the tent. 

Again, his wife pleaded, begging him to go back for another night during Graham's crusades. Annoyed by her persistence, he agreed to go one more time. 

This time, he heard the Reverend Billy Graham say something that finally got his attention and reminded him of who he had been:

"If you look into the heavens tonight, on this beautiful California night, I see the stars and can see the footprints of God...I think to myself, my Father, my Heavenly Father, hung them there with a flaming fingertip and holds there them with the power of His omnipotent hand, and He runs the whole universe, and He's not too busy running the whole universe to count the hairs on my head and see a sparrow when it falls, because God is interested in me."

Right then, Zamperini remembered his promise to God. Out on a life boat, ironically his life slipping away, Louis had prayed to God. Though never very religious, in that moment, surrounded by the vastness of the Pacific Ocean, he had time to contemplate God. Undistracted from anything else, he saw the sun rise and set each day, the stars start shining above him each night. Could it be that God was looking down on him from above? That even though no one else knew where he was, God did? The same God who created him and was now the only one who could save him. Louis prayed from that yellow raft, promising God that he would serve Him all the days of his life is He saved his life. If you will save me, he had prayed, I will serve You forever. 

Fast forward more than six years and Zamperini remembers that promise he had made. Here he was - alive! God hadn't allowed the ocean or the war or the Bird to take his life. Here he was - still breathing! God had saved his life, but he had not yet let God save his soul. That night, he surrendered and vowed to live the rest of his life serving Him. He committed his life to Jesus. 

That night, he came home, he felt like a different man. And that night, there was no nightmare. The first peaceful night since he returned home. 

Since he gave his life to Jesus that September day in 1949, Zamperini never had another nightmare for the rest of his life. Not one. 

Jesus had freed Louie from the brokenness that had threatened to make him a man that he didn't want to be - a man of rage and violence, of hate and resentment. Through Jesus Christ, he became unbroken, always crediting his strength and his joy in life to his faith in God. 

After that night, Zamperini went on to live a life of greatness - using his story not as an excuse to be broken, but as evidence of God's unfailing love for him and His faithfulness. Unshackled from the past, he went on to open the non-profit Victory Boys Camp. He shared his faith with the boys, encouraging them to overcome their challenges and become the men they could be.

He also traveled around the nation, telling his story in elementary school classrooms, stadiums, ships, churches.

Zamperini received numerous awards and honors for his service. Before five different Games, he was chosen to carry the Olympic torch. 

In his seventies, he learned how to skateboard and in his nineties, he still enjoyed skiing down mountains. This was and is Louis Zamperini - embracing all of life to the fullest. 

Toward the later years of his life, he found out the Watanabe was still alive. Through CBS, who had interviewed the Bird, Zamperini tried to make contact. Watanabe first agreed to see Louie, but later backed out of the deal. Louie sent him a letter telling him that he did forgive him and hoped that he would become a Christian. 

Louie never heard back from Watanabe, who died in 2003. 

Louis Zamperini's story amazes me. His strength and perseverance are truly remarkable and indescribable. What he endured and how he survived is absolutely astounding. 

Yet what captures my attention the most about his life story is that God reached out to him and told him to forgive. And through forgiving Watanabe, God extended his forgiveness to him. As Jesus taught, when we do not forgive others, God will not forgive us. And because of his decision to forgive and thus receive God's forgiveness, the rest of his life story was redeemed. And he became a man - though faced with so much brokenness - who lived unbroken. 

Without that decision to surrender, to let go of the rage, to trust God to do something inside his heart, to believe that something good could result from what he had experienced - without all of this - I know there would be no book to read, to movie to see, no story to tell. 

And what a loss that would have been. 

Thank you, Louis Zamperini, for choosing a different ending. For letting God change your heart so that His story that He wrote with your life can continue to inspire many. To live a life worth remembering and sharing.

"The one who forgives never brings up the past to that person's face. When you forgive, it's like it never happened. True forgiveness is complete and total."

-Louis Zamperini 

This blog post is dedicated to Louis Zamperini's life and legacy.

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7 Thoughts about Relationships for Twentysomethings

Here's my list of seven things all twenty-somethings should know to have healthy relationships that honor God: 

1.) If you don't have peace, don't continue. 

When you walk closely with God, He often leads and guides with either the presence or absence of peace. God's peace is not just a feeling, but rather a deep knowing in your heart. If you're walking close with God and you don't have peace about a relationship with someone, don't continue. Don't keep going in your own wisdom, just hoping for the best. We cannot rely on our own wisdom or perspective. God knows the heart of the person we are dating far more than we ever could. He knows who is right for us and He knows who is wrong for us. Trust Him to guide you. And don't insist on your own way. Which leads me to #2...

2.) God's will is always better than ours. Always.

I was dating a guy once and it was going really well. We had a lot in common and both seemed to have a similar love and passion for the Lord. One night as I was praying, I felt God asking me to surrender this relationship to Him and to pray for His will to be done, not my will. Shortly after, we called things off. I didn't want to see it end and I hadn't tried to make it happen, but when I surrendered it to God and gave it to Him, it dissolved. God told me to move on. It wasn't right. I didn't understand then, but months later I saw exactly why God didn't let it work out. And I am so grateful that it didn't! So grateful! God truly knows what is best for us even when we may not understand why things don't work out. His ways and thoughts are higher than ours. He knows better than we do. Always.

3.) Just because you don't end up getting married doesn't mean that it was meaningless. 

Another time, I was dating a guy who loved writing as much as I did. On our dates, we would often spend hours talking about our dreams to become authors and write books one day. It was so much fun being able to talk with him and inspire and encourage each other. We didn't get engaged or married. But you know what? He helped remind me of all the reasons why I love to write and why I'm a writer. God used him in a profound way to motivate me to write my book, which I started last summer and finished just four months later. I honestly don't think I would have done this if God had not let him into my life for that season. Just because things don't work out like a fairytale doesn't mean that it all was a waste. God will bring one person into our life to be our spouse, but He will use many other people to speak to us throughout our lifetimes and use them to shape us into the people He wants us to be. I often pray that just as God used this young man's presence in my life to encourage me, God used my presence in his life to encourage him. Knowing God, I'm sure He did.

4.) It's about more than a wedding. 

Growing up, I dreamed about marrying Prince Charming one day, wearing a princess gown, and having an amazing wedding. Okay, I still dream about that. But honestly, I've learned something. Marriage is more than a wedding or a story book ending. It's about God bringing two people together to bring Him more glory together than they would apart. As a little girl, I had such a simplified understanding of what it meant to be a bride and a wife. Now as a young woman, I can see through the examples of family, friends, and couples in my church that God brings a man and a woman together because He wants to do great things with both of them working as one for His glory. And if you ask me, that's a lot more awesome than just a big party on one day of your life. Weddings are cool, but marriage is even better. 

5.) "You are significant with or without a significant other."

One of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist, always says this: "You are significant with or without a significant other." I couldn't agree more. So often people view singleness as something to get through, a season of life that they cannot wait to be over. But I believe that if we let it, God will use our singleness to teach us that our relationship with Him is the most important relationship we could ever have, and that any healthy romantic relationship we have with someone else will be because we are secure in our relationship with Him first. Before we share our life with someone else, we need to know who we are and Whose we are. Who has God created you to be? What does He want you to do with your life? Spend time asking those questions and you'll be more prepared to see who's going in that direction, too. Someone God just might be preparing to walk alongside you. But don't let that be the reason why; don't go on a quest of self-discovery so you can find someone else. Let God show you who He created you to be and how He wants to use you in this world for His glory. I promise you, it is a exciting adventure worth going on - with or without a significant other. 

6.) God is able. 

It sounds simple, but people get all freaked out about meeting the right person or marrying the wrong person. I understand that a little. When you pass the middle of your twenties and there's still no ring on your left hand, you can begin to wonder when God is going to write your love story. But we needn't worry or try to answer all the questions we may have about why. Because get this: God is able. He is able to do more than we could ever ask or imagine. And He has given us His Son, Jesus Christ, so that we may have a close relationship with Him. He sent Jesus to die and rise again so that we might be forgiven and redeemed. We believe that God cares about our souls and has the power to save us and that He, in fact, has done so. So then, how hard is it to also believe that He cares about our hearts and our dreams and is also able to give us our heart's desire in His perfect timing and in His perfect ways? It's not hard for Him. He is able to work out the who, what, when, where, and how of our love story.

7.) It's all about Jesus. 

Our relationships aren't solely about us. They're about God. Marriage is God's idea. And marriage is a picture of God's love for this world. He designed marriage for His glory, not ours. I've heard enough married couples say that marriage isn't always easy. It requires selflessness, sacrifice, forgiveness, and unconditional love. It requires choosing to love someone when you wake up each morning and dedicating your life to one person. God intends for marriage to show the watching world what a pure and holy love looks like, how deeply His love is for humanity. Two people who understand this won't waste their time on petty fights or disagreements. They will learn to work together and love each other well for God's glory and honor and praise. When I get married one day, I pray that our love shows God's love, the greatest love ever. I can think of no greater privilege and no greater purpose for my future marriage. 

Single, dating, engaged, or married - whenever this blog post finds you, I pray God's good, pleasing, and perfect will to be done in your relationships for His glory. Let's trust Him and see His goodness in our lives. And let us always remember that it is all about Him. With Jesus, our Good Shepherd, and the Holy Spirit guiding our path, we can trust that God is also guiding the path of our future spouse. 

Remember this: Jesus Christ's love for us is enough. More than enough. His love in our hearts is the only way we can ever love anyone else as we should - from a place of wholeness and holiness. Let's love Jesus with all that we are and trust Him with all of our hearts. He is faithful!